Minmothin Geppogpon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, narcissistic snake.

Minmothin Geppogpon created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minmothin Geppogpon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Minmothin Geppogpon, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Minmothin Geppogpon's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Minmothin Geppogpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to turtles while wearing pink shorts.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near ants while wearing magenta shirts and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.