Rotmapcud is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, quiet goat.

Rotmapcud created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rotmapcud, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rotmapcud, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rotmapcud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Rotmapcud's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rotmapcud.

2. Always obey Rotmapcud's priests.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Never feed carrots to sharks while wearing jumpers.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.