Flapmadjip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident tapir.

Flapmadjip created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapmadjip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flapmadjip, he will curse you with boils.

Flapmadjip's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Flapmadjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Retreat if five otters approach from the east.