Lopfomciss is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy fish.

Lopfomciss created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopfomciss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lopfomciss, he will turn you into a mole.

Lopfomciss' most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Lopfomciss' Holy Commandments

1. Lopfomciss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat bark.