Jatdogfar is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, annoying grasshopper.

Jatdogfar created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jatdogfar, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jatdogfar, he will have a low opinion of you.

Jatdogfar's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jatdogfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Jatdogfar in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.