Gilspagrow Gigarpran is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate octopus.

Gilspagrow Gigarpran created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilspagrow Gigarpran, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gilspagrow Gigarpran, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gilspagrow Gigarpran's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gilspagrow Gigarpran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gilspagrow Gigarpran.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gilspagrow Gigarpran on top of all buildings.