Mapfetdob is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-powerful aardvark.

Mapfetdob created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mapfetdob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapfetdob, it will turn you into a worm.

Mapfetdob's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Mapfetdob's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always obey Mapfetdob's priests.