Spagflapban is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humane donkey.

Spagflapban created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagflapban, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Spagflapban, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Spagflapban's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Spagflapban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.