Begbunyog is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome sheep.

Begbunyog created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begbunyog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Begbunyog, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Begbunyog's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Begbunyog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Begbunyog in the centre of the settlement.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.