Fagpinlig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, resourceful narwhal.

Fagpinlig created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagpinlig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fagpinlig, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fagpinlig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fagpinlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not keep six snails in a large pit.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.