Tofcarboss is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, charitable shark.

Tofcarboss created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofcarboss, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tofcarboss, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tofcarboss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tofcarboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt voles.

2. Do not take Tofcarboss' name in vain.

3. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Respect your elders.