Yatcibpakstigkabapp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless bat.

Yatcibpakstigkabapp created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yatcibpakstigkabapp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yatcibpakstigkabapp, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yatcibpakstigkabapp's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yatcibpakstigkabapp's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never wear shirts.