Narlikpas is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic alligator.

Narlikpas created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlikpas, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Narlikpas, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Narlikpas' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Narlikpas' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not take Narlikpas' name in vain.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always treat rats with great respect.