Babmincim is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, idiotic crab.

Babmincim created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Babmincim, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Babmincim, she will make you grow a tail.

Babmincim's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Babmincim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near doves while wearing turquoise boots and balancing seven platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.