Yarmetpinpop is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest scorpion.

Yarmetpinpop created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarmetpinpop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarmetpinpop, he will destroy your home solar system.

Yarmetpinpop's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Yarmetpinpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near shrews while wearing yellow coats and balancing eight tin spheres on your face.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Always take life seriously.