Kikpomnibmanbellnak Rillbemcem is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable snail.

Kikpomnibmanbellnak Rillbemcem created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikpomnibmanbellnak Rillbemcem, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kikpomnibmanbellnak Rillbemcem, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kikpomnibmanbellnak Rillbemcem's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Kikpomnibmanbellnak Rillbemcem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Always take life seriously.