Dobbodveen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, cheerful seal.

Dobbodveen created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobbodveen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dobbodveen, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dobbodveen's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dobbodveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.