Lakceprulmumnurtcepfig is a god.

She takes the form of a small, sage dryad.

Lakceprulmumnurtcepfig created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakceprulmumnurtcepfig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lakceprulmumnurtcepfig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lakceprulmumnurtcepfig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Lakceprulmumnurtcepfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.