Begzoglim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving wren.

Begzoglim created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Begzoglim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Begzoglim, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Begzoglim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Begzoglim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Begzoglim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near doves while wearing yellow corsets and balancing six platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Never talk about fire.