Gubhudjoppang is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm capybara.

Gubhudjoppang created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubhudjoppang, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gubhudjoppang, he will turn you into a tree.

Gubhudjoppang's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Gubhudjoppang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from turquoise cats, for they are unholy.

4. Put Gubhudjoppang first in all things.

5. Never talk about asteroids.