Parktonpas is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, fast raccoon.

Parktonpas created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parktonpas, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parktonpas, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Parktonpas' most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Parktonpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. You must love Parktonpas.

3. Never wear yellow corsets.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not stand on grass.