Figzimtondum is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unfair crocodile.

Figzimtondum created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Figzimtondum, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Figzimtondum, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Figzimtondum's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Figzimtondum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never feed corn to bats while wearing mauve boots.

3. Always obey Figzimtondum's priests.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Figzimtondum.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing cyan skirts and balancing four silver spheres on your arms.