Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome newt.

Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed, it will laugh at you.

Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven geese approach from the south.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Do not take Sughakpas Kikkapbet Jadsatzed's name in vain.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.