Honwanwad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, boastful mink.

Honwanwad created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Honwanwad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Honwanwad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Honwanwad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Honwanwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near voles while wearing pink kilts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Do not hurt horses.