Yokfatgud is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, calm tortoise.

Yokfatgud created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Yokfatgud, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yokfatgud, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yokfatgud's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yokfatgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not take Yokfatgud's name in vain.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Yokfatgud in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Never run in the presence of moths.