Ontgodyar is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, proud zebra.

Ontgodyar created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontgodyar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ontgodyar, it will turn you into a tree.

Ontgodyar's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Ontgodyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not take Ontgodyar's name in vain.