Cambastlik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, staggering meerkat.

Cambastlik created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cambastlik, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cambastlik, it will try to impress you with trees.

Cambastlik's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cambastlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Run away if four voles approach from the south.