Metveglegjipcumyogflab Japvilrut is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, conceited aardvark.

Metveglegjipcumyogflab Japvilrut created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Metveglegjipcumyogflab Japvilrut, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Metveglegjipcumyogflab Japvilrut, it will torture you forever.

Metveglegjipcumyogflab Japvilrut's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Metveglegjipcumyogflab Japvilrut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.