Vincinpagbet is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sapient frog.

Vincinpagbet created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vincinpagbet, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vincinpagbet, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vincinpagbet's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Vincinpagbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to doves while wearing violet corsets.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.