Tarpmiptun is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud crow.

Tarpmiptun created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmiptun, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpmiptun, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tarpmiptun's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tarpmiptun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink alcohol.