Sigfembom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, merciful crane.

Sigfembom created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigfembom, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sigfembom, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sigfembom's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Sigfembom's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sigfembom.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not kill manatees.

5. Do not chop down trees.