Dabponbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, charitable hydra.

Dabponbiss created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabponbiss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dabponbiss, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dabponbiss' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dabponbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Never wear red tights.