Yok is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, loving duck.

Yok created matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yok, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yok, he will turn you into a dog.

Yok's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Yok's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Do not take Yok's name in vain.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing indigo corsets and balancing five tin spheres on your back.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.