Mil is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omniscient swan.

Mil created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mil, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mil, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Mil's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Mil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to goats while wearing dresses.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Worship no other gods but Mil.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing orange kilts.

5. Put Mil first in all things.