Nurzoggov is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, awesome squirrel.

Nurzoggov created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurzoggov, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurzoggov, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nurzoggov's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nurzoggov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always take life seriously.