Gamdudquart Pinhapban is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, two-faced owl.

Gamdudquart Pinhapban created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamdudquart Pinhapban, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gamdudquart Pinhapban, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gamdudquart Pinhapban's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gamdudquart Pinhapban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Learn four new languages a year.