Bodstanlim is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless crab.

Bodstanlim created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodstanlim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bodstanlim, she will not care.

Bodstanlim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bodstanlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not kill sheep.

3. Never sprint near seals.

4. Never think about gravity near bats while wearing blue scarves and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Hide if seven moths approach from the west.