Guppigkam Tadbafyat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective gorilla.

Guppigkam Tadbafyat created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guppigkam Tadbafyat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Guppigkam Tadbafyat, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Guppigkam Tadbafyat's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Guppigkam Tadbafyat's Holy Commandments

1. Guppigkam Tadbafyat loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. You must pray to Guppigkam Tadbafyat nine times a day.

3. Guppigkam Tadbafyat loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away if three sheep approach from the west.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.