Zenmobcem is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, sapient badger.

Zenmobcem created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zenmobcem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zenmobcem, he will come to you in dreams.

Zenmobcem's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Zenmobcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to moths while wearing violet ear rings.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never paint your hands purple.