Gatruttmapdad is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful walrus.

Gatruttmapdad created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatruttmapdad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gatruttmapdad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gatruttmapdad's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gatruttmapdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick seals.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.