Babarport is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous clam.

Babarport created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Babarport, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Babarport, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Babarport's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Babarport's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Babarport.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never feed lemons to foxes while wearing blue shirts.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Babarport in the centre of the settlement.