Fiddavlak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet finch.

Fiddavlak created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fiddavlak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fiddavlak, she will turn you into a tree.

Fiddavlak's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Fiddavlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.