Hogfatzan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, merciful pig.

Hogfatzan created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogfatzan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hogfatzan, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hogfatzan's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Hogfatzan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry moths.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Never wear blue jumpers.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Never hurt doves.