Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, tranquil raccoon.

Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan created Mount Everest twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan, it will send you a sign.

Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must love Yarldinkik Quaffarntarcan.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.