Hinhabgessgof is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, moody lizard.

Hinhabgessgof created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinhabgessgof, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hinhabgessgof, she will turn you into a dog.

Hinhabgessgof's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hinhabgessgof's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hinhabgessgof first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.