Cemarpkap is a god.

It takes the form of a large, merciful snake.

Cemarpkap created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemarpkap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cemarpkap, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cemarpkap's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cemarpkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near rats while wearing violet dresses and balancing five platinum spheres on your back.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always look after injured grasshopers.