Xenlatpark is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, annoying troll.

Xenlatpark created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenlatpark, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xenlatpark, it will turn you into a tree.

Xenlatpark's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Xenlatpark's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.