Cetsitqueegdid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful squirrel.

Cetsitqueegdid created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetsitqueegdid, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cetsitqueegdid, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cetsitqueegdid's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Cetsitqueegdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Put Cetsitqueegdid first in all things.

3. Retreat if seven doves approach from the west.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.