Yokfossdussflig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-confident ferret.

Yokfossdussflig created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokfossdussflig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yokfossdussflig, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Yokfossdussflig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yokfossdussflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near cats while wearing brown coats and balancing three silver spheres on your feet.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.