Logbarnfod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident squid.

Logbarnfod created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Logbarnfod, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Logbarnfod, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Logbarnfod's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Logbarnfod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Logbarnfod on top of all buildings.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Logbarnfod in the centre of the settlement.